Embarassment to last a lifetime....

I happen to have a little Prince, and along with that title not only is he a charmer, but also a little butthead sometimes. My petit prince decided to make feel like I was going to have a wonderful day today. He was sweet, cooperative, talkative, and actually listened to me (and Randy) this morning on my way out to work. He even assisted in dressing this morning, which took me by surprise. I mean, last night, he ate all his dinner without me having to ask him repeatedly, like every other night. He actually managed not to get spaghetti all over my house (yay!), and was rather cooperative during bath time. He feel asleep after only 2 stories, and didn't wake up all night. So with all this awesome behavior, I thought, hey I get paid tomorrow, I'll buy him a couple new toys, as a sort of thank you, for not making me feel like a jackass parent. Well, I had already planned the trip to Target after work, but as I was driving on base, my lil' prince decided to start crying, which is fine. I don't mind if he cries. It's when he wails and makes a scene at the daycare that I get irrate. Now, now. I couldn't possibly spank him in front of anyone. But he was bitting, scratching, kicking, spitting and screaming as I try to calmly carry him (a 36 lbs kid doing that plus diapers in my hand..nice!) inside and check him in. The lady at the front desk gives me that condescending (sp?) annoyed look. Yes, I realize my son was out of control. Yes, I realize it is my parental responsibility to control him. But no, I don't need your stupid glances at me, as I was exasperated and tired. Do you think I wanted to deal with him being like that? NO! I wanted to be home in bed (or couch) and be sleeping. I have been working for almost 2 straight weeks, I'm learning how to be a single mom, and I'm just tired. I'm so frustrated. I don't know how to control a 2 year old. This is so difficult and I just feel like I'm drowning in responsibility that I didn't sign up for. I'm at my wit's end. I'm so embarrassed and I feel like a total ass. I know I'm young, I know I'm hispanic...so people sterotype me, and think, "oh, there goes another mexican girl with a brat she can't control." Well, you know what, assholes? I was fucking married. It didn't work out. And he used to be a VERY well behaved child. He's getting used to me again. Believe me, this will not happen again. I just don't think I can let him piss me off like that. I seriously wanted to just beat the livin' shit outta him! I know my fuse has been short with him. I forget that he is only 2 sometimes. There are urges that he doesn't know how to control, yet. But it's just frustrating to me. Everyone get judged. Especially parents. We get judged and gauged by our children's behavior. My son's behavior this morning would mean that I am a bad parent, who just let's my kid be a brat. Which is not true. Everyone who knows me, knows that I am pretty strict with him, and that I don't let him just run around like a hooligan. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong, and why he acts out when he gets out. So what do I do? I feel like this is the hardest thing I have ever done, and I suck at it, so it is discouraging. I know I'm not the first single mother, who is barely making it. I realize that. But I don't have this network of family or good friends here like I did in Texas. I need that, now. And I really don't have that. Save for a few close people who help me, I'm doing this almost completely on my own. And it's so hard. I just want him to have a better childhood than I did. I don't want him to feel oppressed or unloved. And I'm not trying to buy his heart, believe me. I'm much too broke for all that nonsense. But I want him to understand that there are acceptable behaviors, and what he did today definitely was not one of them. Well, I just wanted to vent. Before I have a heart attack about it. So I just wanna give hella kudos to all the single parents out there. Please know that you are not alone. My kid is driving me insane, too.