So I'm running away to you

I started slowly, gradually. It was good. No, it was electric. The weather was beautiful. An awesomely Perfect day. I got absolute silence. Only my breathing and the sound of my footsteps to accompany me, as I traveled through the air, cutting it with my body. And then when the weighty silence filled the air, it began. The sound of insecurity knocking at my door, ever there and constricting. The trees silently mocking me with their whispered shudders as they trembled with the wind. The sound of fat, pregnant clouds birthing their refreshing rain children on my face. The rustle of discarded fall leaves as they crawled accross the way. Crunching, crackling under my weight. Crying out for one more time to crawl, before being crushed beneath my shoes. I could smell the fragant winter smell. Crisp, clean like a freshly starched shirt. Winds enveloped my body, carressing and hugging my curves gently like a newfound lover. Breezes brushed my lips like soft, forbidden kisses at midnight. Only the sound of my persistent breathing resounded in my head. Rushing in and out of me in a strangely familiar way. How comforting to feel the life being sucked out of me in quickness, once again. Memories, nostalgia tinged the air, giving it a bittersweetness like my once favorite candy, Spree. I remembered things that I have chosen to place into my hidden box of memories. Things that hurt and stung. Happier times, harder times. I remembered it all. I ran away to you. To your embrace. The warmth and comfort of yesteryear. The constant in my hectic pace. To your ocean eyes. I fell into them. Swam in them, drank their gaze in with my mouth. I thought of you and your buttery skin, your beautiful hands. I thought of your feathery hair, the feel of your heart beating beneath me. The amazing way I can feel your life. I made the pain to my white light, to run away from. The light that darkness and doesn't illuminate me. The trees shook and cried out in agony, as did I. Inner tragedy flooded my heart. It is always me who cries, who can't be happy. The manic depressive girl. I thought of all this as I ran away to you, as the trees laughed, my body cried, my breath became shorter, my footsteps became muffled, my tears mixed with my sweat. And the wind kept embracing me, how I wished you would.